Single vs. Not So Single

Up until 13 months ago I had spent the past three years as a singleton. In those three years most of my friends had boyfriends. When we went on a girls holiday to Malia and the following year to Spain, it was clear that not only had the boyfriends managed to come along on the trips via mobile phones but that when we went out clubbing the general ‘I’m in a relationship’ vibe generated off the group with great force and we were rarely approached by any men, much to my disappointment. This meant, due to not being able to reap the benefits of single life, I wanted a boyfriend as well, but what’s that old saying? ‘You wait hours for a bus and then three come along’. University seemed to create the meaning to that saying. Starting University I was quite sure that I did not want a boyfriend, in all honesty I’d been trying to find a boyfriend for three years prior to this so I didn’t think not having one would be all that difficult, however as luck would have it my knight in shining armour turned up within the first week. Nice.

Now maybe it’s just bad timing, but what I observed after a few months of my boyfriend and I becoming ‘official’ (facebook style) was that no one had a good word to say about relationships. I’ve spent the last three years wanting someone to curl up to when I’m feeling down and someone to watch a film with when there’s not much else to do and suddenly I’m being told that getting in a relationship is a big mistake. We’ll set aside the fact that my boyfriend and I are flat mates and in the same friendship group, which is apparently supposed to make us off limits to each other, and focus on the arguments against being in a relationship in general. There’s the obvious ‘we can’t sleep with anyone but each other’ but personally I’m quite self conscious and not into one night stands so that one isn’t a problem for me, plus I would rather be having regular sex with a boyfriend than very little sex at all. Then there’s the problem of worrying about what the other one is up to on a lads night out, or equally a girls night out which ties in nicely to the downside of trying to split your time between friends and boyfriend. I’m not trying to put a negative view on relationships, in fact I’m in a very happy relationship and if I wanted I could sit here and defend them until I’m blue in the face but it seems pointless. We are creatures of habit and we feed on jealously, it is a well known fact we always want what we don’t have.

So if I had to give advice to anyone who isn’t happy with their current status, be that single and desperate for a man or in a relationship and wishing you had the benefits of single life, the best I can give is that you’ll be happy either way; curled up in the arms of great man or out drinking cocktails with some fabulous girls. So try not to be greedy.

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